I relate to you the best story ever, told to me by Martin, the swede, in Thailand, as I am avoiding studying for finals.

Martin was in the swedish army, as required for a bit, but he became an officer and stuck with it for a while. He enjoyed travelling, they paid well, and hell, why not. He was in a peacekeeping trip to the Balkans, very nice near the coastline, walking around with his fellow army fellows on leave in a small town. He headed down the street, a very tourist-y area, looking for a place to eat. He was stopped outside a small restaurant by an old man. He was shouting words in various languages, and Martin, knowing English, caught that he was saying something to the effect of "Come to my restaurant, we have the best food in town!" The others, not knowing English, gave him a confused stare. He asked in English where they were from, and Martin replied "Sweden".

The old man paused, thought for a while, then remembered what it was that he was thinking of. He said in broken swedish "Wisa Fvita, So Foer Den Popcorn" (i dunno the spelling). Martin was aghast.

The little man, who was trying to advertise his restaurant, mustve asked some teenager how to say "Come to my restaurant" in swedish, and the teenager, being a rapscallion, told him to say the equivalent of this:

"Show me your cunt, and I'll give you popcorn"

in swedish.

Good luck on exams, everyone.